Today the “Transformation in the Energy of Infinite Love” workshop assists singles and couples who want to increase their ability to radiate the consciousness of Infinite Love for their own well being and for the well being of others. A step towards unveiling the conscious and unconscious minds at work.
Have you ever heard that in a relationship there are “4 minds” interacting with each other?
Once you start to engage with someone, your nervous system is going to create a dialog. Which part of my nervous system is going to create the dialog? In most cases, the conscious mind is used 1-5% of the time, and 99-95% of the time human beings are operating, responding and communicating from the unconscious mind. Except when you meet somebody and have an experience of love. The mind responses switches the other way around (you are responding, communicating and operating 95-99% of the time from your conscious mind). The conscious mind, which communicates wishes and desires, takes control of your behavior. The conscious minds of two people coming together will create wishes and desires in the context of the new relationship… that’s called the honeymoon period. That’s the beautiful part.
But, life goes on, gets busy, and you still have to deal with daily life. So you have the job, you have your chores, you’ve got to pay the rent, you have to fix the car—you’ve got all these things tapping through your head, right? If your conscious mind starts to think about these things, it’s easy to see how and why the subconscious takes over at that point. So the two other subconscious minds kick in (there are the two subconscious minds as there are two people newly in relationship). The behaviors in the subconscious minds in no way match or meet up with the wishes and desires of the conscious minds, especially since the subconscious minds are programmed by downloading from parents/environment/culture from infancy to age 7. When the subconscious kicks in, then we are like Bill, we don’t see that our behavior is based on where we learned it from—family, parents, culture.
Your subconscious is operating/controlling you, but you don’t see it. As I say in the lectures, if you play some of these unconscious behaviors on your first date, you may not have a second date! But suppose you didn’t play them for a month or two months. When you do play one of these subconscious programs down the road, your partner looks at you and says, “Who are YOU!?” There’s a new entity that just showed up! Who is the new entity? It’s actually you, responding from downloaded subconscious programs (most likely) from people you grew up with. When the 4 minds start relating, the subconscious behavior starts manifesting, and basically the fundamental behavior that has been both parties’ all along starts manifesting. Both of you are now demonstrating behaviors that were never part of the honeymoon. And once the subconscious behavior starts, it could cause the whole thing to fall apart. (Even more details in The Honeymoon Effect)
So you may be asking how do we keep the love alive in our lives?
If I told you, “This is the way it works, and guess what —there is no way to change it”—it’d be a pretty lousy story. The good news is, we can always change any behavior. But for people to do that, both partners have to recognize the story/subconscious behavior. One partner can’t be the one with knowledge, “Oh, that was just their subconscious. The other person doesn’t even know what they’re talking about.” It won’t work. The only way to resolve it is, you have to have a discussion and not an argument. Let’s say my wife Marge is having bad behavior. Instead of my saying, “I hate that; that was stupid,” I can say, “Oh, you’re playing that behavior like your Mother or your Father. Do you really want to do that?” The point is, if I’m having a discussion, it’s not a personal attack any more. And every time she stops the behavior, she’s creating a new habit. This behavior stops as it happens! And if you repeat that, and repeat that, there’s a period of time when that habit will never play again, because the new pattern of stopping it kicks in. But it takes patience, repetition, and the willingness to have discussions and not arguments.